New Government Seal

[honeybee]

Official Announcement:

The government today announced that it is changing its

emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more

accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys

the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives

you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

[oscarwho]

That is the very best so far and will be hard to top. You certainly deserve a prize.

[oscarwho]

Bee I have never seen such talent . You may be in the wrong field with honeybees. Jeff Foxworthy cant come even close to that . Thanks for the laughs .

[honeybee]

Thank you knight Oscar, I will exalt thee for thy kindness.

[honeybee]

However, I cannot take credit for it, got it in a e-mail and thought I would share it.

[summerose]

Honeybee, that is hilarious! thanks for sharing!

[manape]

Good one HB.

[honeybee]

I am running for president, my platform will be mandatory chocolate at every meeting, sweet tea will become the official drink of the USA, gravely, rough Northern accents will not be tolerated in the big house, just soft spoken ones. The white house will be painted, it has been white to long, maybe a subtle buttecup yellow, and cat's and dogs will be introduced into the senate. You can't be hateful when your rubbing a cat or scratcing a dog behind the ears.

Birth control will be mandatory for boy's and girls starting at 13, they will be available in the lunchroom line. Teachers will get to teach and unruly kids will be locked in a room with their parents until they get them under control. NEW LAW: cellphones are only to be used in case of emergency or to check on the kids.

All college students will have to sign a contract to do a certain amount of "hands on" charity work before they are approved for student loans. Especially banking and medical personnel.
Drug companies and gas companies will be monitored and they will no longer be able to make a living off the backs of the working class.

People who work or have worked X number of years and have retired, will receive medical benefits. Major cut's in the welfare and Social Security payments, if you are hurt or disabled you had better be hurt or disabled.

Funds will be cut to countries who do not support our politics 100%. If you don't like the USA they put your hand back into your own empty pocket.

Soldiers and Vet's will receive better benefits, raises and better income for doing their job during and after they have served. No soldier who fought for their country should have to worry about how to pay their medical bills or work for minimum wage.

Alcohol will have the same laws that cigarettes have, a vice is a vice is a vice, no matter what it is.

Death sentence will be re-instated, if you take a life while in violation of a law then you die. Prisons will be re-vamp to remove all luxuries, chain gangs will be brought back.
Selling and manufacturing illegal drugs is considered murder and drug lords adn teh peopel who work for them will be executed. We will by-pass the criminal court system and use DNA testing if it is available. If DNA is not available then the court system will have a very limited time to pursue and prosecute their case. Move those criminals through wuick, fast and in a hurry. Make prison a hated place, not somewhere you want to be.

That's all for now, but there will be more to come.

Do I have any votes yet??

[summerose]

I agree with everything you said except birth control being mandatory for kids at age 13. They should start teaching morals and abstinence instead of passing out birth control. That is just my humble opinion.

[honeybee]

Yes, abstinence and morals should be taught at home, but some homes aren't teaching it and not all kids are going to listen to what their parents say. Just take a look at the unmarried, pregnant daughters depending on the tax payers to take care of them

The government is passing legislature forcing middle school girls to have a series of 3 shots of Guardasill (sp?) to prevent cervical cancer, which is caused by sex, why not make birth control mandantory also?

Mother/Daughter conversation:

MOM "Don't have sex, you could get disease, pregnant and everybody will talk about you. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free".
DAUGHTER "OK, where are we going?"
MOM "The government says you have to get a shot that keeps you from getting cervical cancer when you have sex."
DAUGHTER "But, I'm not going to have sex."
MOM "Well, I know we have discussed it, but you have to have the shot anyway."

Talk about confusing the child.

[summerose]

Yeah, I mentioned in a earlier post that parent's expect schools and church's to teach there kids how to act, but it is there responsibility to instill good morals in there children, (if they have any themselves.)