a few laughs

[summerose]

Good ones tulip!

[bb]

LOL, those remind me of the ones my grandson used to tell! Cute and a little corny!

[radarlove]

Did you hear about the the female actress named Reece trying to commit suicide?
Witherspoon?
No! With her knife!

[ruby]

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, ' I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for
the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

**************************************************

Sam and Ruth had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is...rear defroster."

***************************************************

Archeology 101

Last January the "New Orleans Times Picayune" reported that a Cajun amateur archeologist having dug to a depth of 30 feet, found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years. He concluded that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Cajuns, in the weeks that followed, Texas scientists dug to a depth of 60 feet. Shortly after, headlines in the "Dallas Morning News" read, "Texas archaeologists have found traces of 200-year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years earlier than the Cajuns."
One week later, "The Grant County Press" reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 90 feet in fields near Cabins, WV, Bubba Williams, a self-taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago in West Virginia they were already using wireless."

[summerose]

LOL! Those are funny Ruby. ;D