Pet Diaries: Dog vs. Cat...

[oletaterman]

The Dog's Diary:



8:00 am - Dog food, oh boy! My favorite thing!



9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!



9:50 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!



10:30 am - Got my ears scratched and my tummy rubbed! My favorite thing!



12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!



1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!



2:00 pm - Sniffed the cat - got swatted on the nose. Not my favorite thing...



3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!



5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!



7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!



8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!



11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



------------------------------------------

The Cat's Diary:



Day 1183 of my captivity...



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my superior capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. - Jerks!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. I could hear the noises and smell the food - does their cruelty have no end? However, during that tme I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to disable one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. He stumbled and yelled at me but did not go down - no luck! I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.....



I will continue to occasionally act like I tolerate my captivity and sometimes may even accidentally purr (this seems to please them - darn it) - but I guess this is ok, as I do this to gain their trust in hopes of some day gaining my freedom. - All I can do is hope...

[2cedarschick]

Love it!!!

[taylor]

How to Bathe a Cat

Dear Cat Owner,

Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:


1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The DOG

[swissroger]

haha, that cat make an face like me here, all rain last days!

[taylor]

Oh, Roger, Sorry about your weather -


WET ROGER IS NOT AMUSED!

[oletaterman]

Love that "wet cat".......

[taylor]

[2cedarschick]

Hahaha!

[ana]

Apr 23, 2008 17:16:16 GMT -4 oletaterman said:

The Dog's Diary:



8:00 am - Dog food, oh boy! My favorite thing!



9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!



9:50 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!



10:30 am - Got my ears scratched and my tummy rubbed! My favorite thing!



12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!



1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!



2:00 pm - Sniffed the cat - got swatted on the nose. Not my favorite thing...



3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!



5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!



7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!



8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!



11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



------------------------------------------

The Cat's Diary:



Day 1183 of my captivity...



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my superior capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. - Jerks!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. I could hear the noises and smell the food - does their cruelty have no end? However, during that tme I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to disable one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. He stumbled and yelled at me but did not go down - no luck! I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.....



I will continue to occasionally act like I tolerate my captivity and sometimes may even accidentally purr (this seems to please them - darn it) - but I guess this is ok, as I do this to gain their trust in hopes of some day gaining my freedom. - All I can do is hope...

I love it!

[ana]

Apr 24, 2008 11:39:26 GMT -4 taylor said:

How to Bathe a Cat

Dear Cat Owner,

Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:


1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The DOG

Even funnier! I have see this one before but not sent from the dog. LOL Just like a dog!

[ana]

You just gotta know that someone somewhere has tried this before OK fess up. We know that your out there.

[summerose]

Cute topic and pics!