Post by bubbadebubba on Aug 14, 2008 17:18:47 GMT -4
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide
rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They
desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go
off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret
code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "
When asked to comment on the arrest, Senator Obama said,
"If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."
Democratic leaders told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Senator.