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Post by shortcircuit on Nov 25, 2007 11:01:02 GMT -4
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."
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Post by summerose on Nov 25, 2007 18:08:09 GMT -4
LOL! Just like a lawyer.
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Post by shortcircuit on Nov 25, 2007 18:31:09 GMT -4
How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
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Post by taylor on Nov 25, 2007 21:06:39 GMT -4
Short, I thought there would be at least 4 - the fourth one to make the TV commercial to get the class action suit for anyone who ever bought the ladder or the burned out bulb!
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Post by shortcircuit on Nov 25, 2007 22:40:09 GMT -4
Haha, you're right taylor!
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Post by shortcircuit on Nov 25, 2007 22:41:18 GMT -4
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money. And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.
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Post by Justin Melick on Nov 26, 2007 15:58:38 GMT -4
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories.
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Post by thesosbee on Nov 28, 2007 20:06:40 GMT -4
I could speak to that!
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Post by shortcircuit on Dec 2, 2007 13:29:07 GMT -4
Question and answer jokes
Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.
Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A: Who cares? Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
A: The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.
Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.
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